We are all suddenly idiots when we visit websites. Regardless of one’s age or level of education, anyone is prone to calling someone a fag or a retard during an online disagreement. That doesn’t mean it will always happen, but when it does it’s unfortunate and annoying and drives well-meaning writers and bloggers batty. (There are, however, a number of bloggers that don’t mind this sort of thing if pageviews rely on the endurance of catfights.) Multiply that times music and pop culture, which attracts any variety of fans, “experts” and youth and it doesn’t matter how rich and entertaining your turn of phrase is if you’ve decided Gucci is wack, or dope, for that matter. People largely aren’t reading your opinions to be entertained by them; they want your opinions to be in tandem with their own.
Did you know Hidden Beach, record label to Jill Scott plus a bunch of other artists, was still releasing those atrocious Unwrapped “jazz” compilations? If not, I’m here to fuck your day up: They are. A long long time ago, “jazz” renditions of popular Hip-Hop songs seemed like a novel idea, but as Hip-Hop becomes more grotesque, what we need less of is multiple versions of played-out, shitty songs.
Unwrapped Vol. 6: A Tribute To Lil’ Wayne Give The Drummer Some features a 24-year-old drummer named Tony Royster, Jr., who is too young to be sucked into this Old People Fail. Who decides, at 24, that they’re gonna totally fuck up the crappy songs their peers love by oldifying them? Also, this album is mostly a bunch of songs we got sick of until they became parodies of themselves: “Best I Ever Had”, “Every Girl”, “Turnin’ Me On”, “Single Ladies”, etc, with a couple tracks by De La Soul and Craig Mack tossed in for ornery Hip-Hop elitists such as myself. Whatever, Hidden Beach!
“Sweet levitating Christ, What is this?” you wondered all of 2009, as you reflected upon that faraway time when we questioned Puff Daddy and his crew of Shiny Suit Warriors. Good times, those. But no more. Recent months have given way to a new strain of atrociously dandy fashion choices within Hip-Hop. You have here Lil’ Wayne and his Smedium Money crew, who like to sing in auto-tune and laugh at their own jokes. Then there’s Kanye West and his merry band of Mariannes, who all made a big colorful statement early this year at Paris Fashion Week, and that statement was “Beat me up.” Fashion is all about standing out from the rest of us common folks, declaring to the world that you are cooler-than-thou and therefore confident enough to look like a complete asshole and suffer no repercussions which, of course, is the true essence of Hip-Hop–simply not giving a fuck.