After reading “A Handy Guide to All Gay Men” by Brian Moylan over at Gawker, what stood out to me (obviously) was that I don’t know many Black men like this. Any one of these archetypes can apply to my Black gay brethren, but by and large, in my experience, they do not. So some mischievous friends and I decided to compose a more colorful equivalent to Moylan’s classifications. Your education begins now.
The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (“green”) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he’s convinced that having enough people that despise him means he’s “doing something right.” He will spend an entire month’s salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency.
Activities: “Walking”, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making youtube videos, going to the mall.
Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between)
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
This shit has to stop. “The Post still fetishizes rappers as the bad boys of the entertainment industry. The vast majority of its hip-hop coverage — I’d say just from the informal survey that I took to find the above examples of faulty labeling, 80 percent of it involves the rappers involved in some sort of crime. As silly as it is, the word “rapper,” still has sensationalistic value at the Post that “R&B star” or “dancehall artist” or “mogul,” just doesn’t. Also, these people who have no idea what they’re talking about regarding pop culture, may hear about a (usually male) black recording artist and just assume that he is a rapper. I’m not saying that these people are racist (although, if they work for the Post, I’m not saying they’re not racist, either), but I am saying they’re lazy, ignorant and prone to stereotyping. That’s all!” — “If he’s black, he must rap” Rich / fourfour
Speaking of things that need to stay their asses in the 90s, how about this? Foxy Brown (1) has a new song called “Off The Muscle” and (2) makes a desperate, unfunny reference to Lil’ Kim’s DWTS stint. We’re past the point of giving a shit who’s better. I mean, if forced to choose between a bat turd and a bunny turd, which one do you think we’d pick? Is either less turdly? Exactly! And no, I don’t feel any sympathy towards either of them for Hip-Hop being male-dominated. They’ve both made ridiculous personal and professional choices and have yet to satisfactorily follow-up their debut albums from over 10 years ago. 10 YEARS! I can’t with these brawds. More here…