Posts Tagged ‘beyoncé’

get offa my lawn // March 1st, 2010 // 5 Comments

Movies the rest of you won’t shut up about that I’ll never watch.

 

In observance of the Oscars here are my reviews of movies I’ve never seen and don’t plan to, ever.

 

Avatar: Three months later and the Internet remains awash in putrid fanboy jism over this thing. OMG GET OUT OF MY RSS FEEDS, AVATARDS!

 

I can’t wait for this to be over, but at this rate I fear that won’t be for a while. I mostly go to the movies to see effects and shit blowing up and car chases and all the things that make a blockbuster a blockbuster, at least from a sensory perspective. But I don’t want to see this corny-looking shit, I don’t care how “beautiful” the cgi is. Whenever a movie is not only accompanied by hype and slavish Pop Cultural devotion, but saddled with so-called sub-textual political and social themes (that are somehow supposed to resonate with Americans that are distracted by all the pretty colors, natch) I start to get suspicious. I wish when movies like this came out that people like James Cameron would man-up and say “I just wanted to make a shitload of money.” I’d respect him a little bit more than if he were to take bits and pieces from every movie we’ve ever seen, dress it up in 3-D and manipulate people into thinking there’s more to it than a white man, once again, becoming the savior of a non-white culture.

 

I will also not be sitting down to watch Titanic, which I’ve successfully avoided over the past thirteen years due to my steadfast belief that Leonardo DiCaprio has always been overrated, shit (again) looks corny and Celine Dion is a pest. Cameron needs to carry his ass back over to the Terminator franchise so we’ll give a damn about it again.

 

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motherfucking haikus // February 20th, 2010 // 5 Comments

These are some Motherfucking Haikus.


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all about the music // January 26th, 2010 // 2 Comments

More of this, pls.

par-foomHad a really dope breakfast conversation today about writing, music and… well, writing and music, at the Starbucks at Howard with a loud derelict chortling in the background at a book he was reading. It was extremely fucking loud, and we were afraid he was dying because it was a hacking cough that sounded like he was being strangled from the inside. This detail isn’t important to this post at all but I wanted to include it.

 

What struck me the most about this conversation was that we discussed Pop divas. The concept of Pop divas is something that I’m largely at odds with, since I tend to believe Pop stars are frivolous yet always end up somehow becoming cultural ambassadors. Moreso, the conversation I had was with another gay man of color, and in most of my experience, in real life or online, those discussions usually devolve into heated emotional warfare. I mean, we hit all the usual targets–Whitney, Beyoncé, Mariah, Mary J., and a bit of Madonna and Janet–and never once did it become “OMG OMG OMG SHE’S SUCH A SAINT AND EVERYONE HATES HER BECAUSE OF HER BEAUTY AND SUCCESS AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS SO FLAWLESS AND FIERCE!!” or “HOW DARE YOU SAY _______ IS INCONSISTENT? YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN. BITCH.”

 

It was a very pleasant and fun conversation where we allowed each other to be critical and comparative without fear of stepping into landmines. I can’t say that I’m particularly surprised, since the person with whom I had this breakfast discussion engages with me in a way where I never have to worry about that. But within the larger context of my gay brethren, socially, this was a glass of homemade lemonade on a quiet beach in the middle of 80 degree weather (What is… refreshing? </jeopardy>).

 

So basically I’m marking this day on my calendar and celebrating its anniversary next year. With gifts.

 

disclosure // January 11th, 2010 // No Comments

Random and current facts about me:

  • I suck at Jazz, like, I know as much about Jazz music as I do sports (which I like to refer to as “professional televised gym class.”)
  • I do not like Corrine Bailey Rae. I’m compelled to point this out because she always comes up in music conversations with me. I suppose my engagement in certain types of music means it’s likely I’m into her, but I’m not.
  • I like Destiny’s Child as a group more than Beyoncé and I bought all of their CDs.
  • I frequently bitch about this because it hasn’t changed: I’m the only gay dude I know that loves Hip-Hop the way I do. (In fact, I once dated someone that told me I wasn’t a Hip-Hop head because I wasn’t into his Lil’ Wayne and T.I. records, yet he knew nothing of the type of artists I listen to. Yeah, let’s start there…)
  • Say anything bad about Janet Jackson and I will skin you alive and wear your hide as a fanciful Snuggie.
  • I have no patience for overly sensitive people that seek out offense and disrespect in everything in order to have something to defend themselves against. Needy, emotionally high-maintenance people are highly repellent to me at this stage in my life. And I should know who they are; I used to be one.
  • I am not a graphic designer or a deejay. I am a writer.
  • I find myself becomingly increasingly bored with the topics and interests for which I have become known. Let’s start with music.
  • I’m fully prepared to be alone and am satisfied with that. The dating pool in my community seems to be comprised of the same four or five archetypes with little variation and too much overlap. I’m finding that people consider themselves a catch based on a ubiquitous checklist that has nothing to do with who they are as a person, and that’s boring.
  • I’m strongly considering dating outside of my race. If that offends you, it shouldn’t, and you may have a seat. Namaste.
  • I pursued the Dharma chiefly to alleviate stress and figure out why I was miserable. But I’ve learned much more beyond that. It’s much easier for me to love all people, regardless of the things that we perceive separate us. Those things are illusory and a distraction.
  • Batman rules.

Ask me anything…

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(This originally went down on my Tumblr.)

all about the music // December 3rd, 2009 // 6 Comments

America, this is your Grammy winner. Right here.

I’m only just getting around to paying any attention to the Grammy noms, since my investment in not only popular music but music as a whole and any discussion thereof is diminishing faster than the speed of light. Seriously, the world has gone mad and all I can do is laugh until my sides hurt.

 

Compare the headlines that Beyoncé was nominated for 10 awards while Whitney was nominated for zero and you begin to understand the magnitudinous absurdity at work. And no, I don’t have any particular investment in either Whitney or Beyoncé (although in theory I’m supposed to be genetically predisposed to worshipping them since I’m a Black, gay male–but then I truly do not give first-fuck or last. I’m hoarding fucks and distributing them only for emergency purposes. Waste not, want not.) but 10 to 1 for these two speaks volumes on music, its industry and fans, and our culture. (Even a close comrade says of  Beysus: “GaGa gets shunned in the new artist category because of a bullshit technicality and this nursery rhyme writing ho gets 10 NODS??? Please. She must be fuckin’ somebody on the nomination board somethin TERRIBLE!!!”) Or maybe it doesn’t. Consider this:

 

Nominations for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Ego: Beyoncé & Kanye West
Knock You Down: Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo
Run This Town: Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West
I’m On A Boat: The Lonely Island & T-Pain <—THIS
Dead And Gone: T.I. & Justin Timberlake

 

Have you LOL’d all over yourself like I did yet? One can only imagine the copious amounts of crack smoked and bong water swallowed to arrive at this nomination. But, I think it should win, just be-fucking-cause.

 

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