Posts Tagged ‘batman’

get offa my lawn // March 1st, 2010 // 5 Comments

Movies the rest of you won’t shut up about that I’ll never watch.

 

In observance of the Oscars here are my reviews of movies I’ve never seen and don’t plan to, ever.

 

Avatar: Three months later and the Internet remains awash in putrid fanboy jism over this thing. OMG GET OUT OF MY RSS FEEDS, AVATARDS!

 

I can’t wait for this to be over, but at this rate I fear that won’t be for a while. I mostly go to the movies to see effects and shit blowing up and car chases and all the things that make a blockbuster a blockbuster, at least from a sensory perspective. But I don’t want to see this corny-looking shit, I don’t care how “beautiful” the cgi is. Whenever a movie is not only accompanied by hype and slavish Pop Cultural devotion, but saddled with so-called sub-textual political and social themes (that are somehow supposed to resonate with Americans that are distracted by all the pretty colors, natch) I start to get suspicious. I wish when movies like this came out that people like James Cameron would man-up and say “I just wanted to make a shitload of money.” I’d respect him a little bit more than if he were to take bits and pieces from every movie we’ve ever seen, dress it up in 3-D and manipulate people into thinking there’s more to it than a white man, once again, becoming the savior of a non-white culture.

 

I will also not be sitting down to watch Titanic, which I’ve successfully avoided over the past thirteen years due to my steadfast belief that Leonardo DiCaprio has always been overrated, shit (again) looks corny and Celine Dion is a pest. Cameron needs to carry his ass back over to the Terminator franchise so we’ll give a damn about it again.

 

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disclosure // January 11th, 2010 // No Comments

Random and current facts about me:

  • I suck at Jazz, like, I know as much about Jazz music as I do sports (which I like to refer to as “professional televised gym class.”)
  • I do not like Corrine Bailey Rae. I’m compelled to point this out because she always comes up in music conversations with me. I suppose my engagement in certain types of music means it’s likely I’m into her, but I’m not.
  • I like Destiny’s Child as a group more than Beyoncé and I bought all of their CDs.
  • I frequently bitch about this because it hasn’t changed: I’m the only gay dude I know that loves Hip-Hop the way I do. (In fact, I once dated someone that told me I wasn’t a Hip-Hop head because I wasn’t into his Lil’ Wayne and T.I. records, yet he knew nothing of the type of artists I listen to. Yeah, let’s start there…)
  • Say anything bad about Janet Jackson and I will skin you alive and wear your hide as a fanciful Snuggie.
  • I have no patience for overly sensitive people that seek out offense and disrespect in everything in order to have something to defend themselves against. Needy, emotionally high-maintenance people are highly repellent to me at this stage in my life. And I should know who they are; I used to be one.
  • I am not a graphic designer or a deejay. I am a writer.
  • I find myself becomingly increasingly bored with the topics and interests for which I have become known. Let’s start with music.
  • I’m fully prepared to be alone and am satisfied with that. The dating pool in my community seems to be comprised of the same four or five archetypes with little variation and too much overlap. I’m finding that people consider themselves a catch based on a ubiquitous checklist that has nothing to do with who they are as a person, and that’s boring.
  • I’m strongly considering dating outside of my race. If that offends you, it shouldn’t, and you may have a seat. Namaste.
  • I pursued the Dharma chiefly to alleviate stress and figure out why I was miserable. But I’ve learned much more beyond that. It’s much easier for me to love all people, regardless of the things that we perceive separate us. Those things are illusory and a distraction.
  • Batman rules.

Ask me anything…

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(This originally went down on my Tumblr.)

Hey stop that!! // November 21st, 2009 // 2 Comments

Here is Mase, misappropriating the Bat-Signal. Fucker.

maseTypically, the best thing about 99% of mixtapes is the shitty artwork. Like, the way these guys squeeze the images of artists that would otherwise kill each other in person into one photo is the sort of ingenuity that should be celebrated. It’s not easy. Photo-splicing involves a lot of perspective-based resizing, artificial lighting enhancements, extracting and other un-fun techniques that make Photoshop such a bitch to deal with. So I take my hat off to those muhfuhs for even having the patience to tackle that shit.

 

But do me one favor and leave Batman out of it, particularly within the context of Mase. I will not listen to his new mixtape, I Do The Impossible, because there’s a shelf life when it comes to Mase, and we are finished with him. Batman, however, we will never be finished with. I do not like this re-purposed Bat-signal in the upper right corner. I take personal offense to it, much like I objected to the jackass that showed up to the midnight opening of The Dark Knight last year wearing a Superman shirt while the rest of us were in Batman tees. It’s like bringing a fucking menorah to a Christmas party. Don’t do that.