NOVAJAVABLEND #19 [02.18.10]
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The 8 Black Gays you will meet in your lifetime.
After reading “A Handy Guide to All Gay Men” by Brian Moylan over at Gawker, what stood out to me (obviously) was that I don’t know many Black men like this. Any one of these archetypes can apply to my Black gay brethren, but by and large, in my experience, they do not. So some mischievous friends and I decided to compose a more colorful equivalent to Moylan’s classifications. Your education begins now.
The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (“green”) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he’s convinced that having enough people that despise him means he’s “doing something right.” He will spend an entire month’s salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency.
Activities: “Walking”, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making youtube videos, going to the mall.
Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between)
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
Just donate some money and STFU, Pop music.
I was fully prepared to hate the 2010 update of “We Are The World” based solely on who I knew would be included. But as the premiere date drew near, I found myself at least attempting to put “the cause” above my dislike for some of the artists. My initial instinct was not only correct, it was far too generous. The new “We Are The World” is a piece of shit, and if their goal is to encourage people to give then I’d would donate any amount of money not to hear this shit again ever.
In the intro Jamie Foxx goes “Twenty-five years ago Quincy Jones gathered an amazing group of artists and musicians to create We Are The World.” Cut to today, and the updated recording includes a rap verse. Akon, Lil’ Wayne and T-Pain all have parts, in auto-tune of course. Fergie’s on it. Jamie Foxx does a Ray Charles impersonation. Justin Bieber kicks off the track. Wyclef screams multiple times! It’s terrible. Even Jennifer Hudson, Pink and Michael Jackson’s original vocals couldn’t dignify this trash.
And you know what? Fuck you if you’re on some “this is about Haiti” shit, because let me tell you something, just because it’s for a good cause or has a message or an honorable purpose and intent does NOT inoculate it from criticism. It is still a product and it will be appraised as such.
This is just another case of celebrity cheerleading. It’s disgusting, Haiti deserves better, and I’m glad Beyonce did the right thing by sitting this one out.
nOvaJavaBlend #18 [love.]
![NOVAJAVABLEND #18 [02.12.10]](http://www.novaslim.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/novajava18.jpg "NOVAJAVABLEND #18 [02.12.10]")
NOVAJAVABLEND #18 [02.12.10]
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MESHELL NEDEGEOCELLO // Love You Down
MAXWELL // Stop The World
JILL SCOTT // Wanna Be Loved
JANET JACKSON // Twenty Foreplay (Slow Jam Fantasy Mix)
FAITH EVANS // Come Over
RAHEEM DEVAUGHN // Believe
ERIC ROBERSON // Break It Down
112 // Now That We’re Done
PRINCE // When 2 R in Love
CARL THOMAS // Late Night Rendezvous
MUSIQ // Lullaby
TWEET // My Place
ROBIN THICKE // Cry No More
JILL SCOTT // Imagination
MESHELL NDEGEOCELLO // Andromeda & the Milky Way
What’s up with Radio One’s exhaustive, catty job listing?
It must be hard for major media corporations to find suitable personnel these days. I mean, how easy can it be to fill a position with an employee that doesn’t just need a job but also satisfies the many many requirements? To defer without question and remain alert in spite of the antagonistic environment? Or to stay poised and ethical under the constant pressure that stems from being compared to his/her predecessor? I might be reading too deeply into this job listing for an executive assistant position at Radio One, but when a friend showed me this we both decided that, yes, this looks rather bitchy and needlessly so. I present this listing to you in its entirety with my own commentary at appropriate points. It seems standard at first glance, but take a closer look and it becomes increasingly clear that whoever wrote this is attempting to instill the fear of God into perspective employees. I’ve seen government openings that don’t go into this much detail, and they certainly don’t have an ax to grind.