One of my favorite films to enjoy over the holidays with family is Showgirls, because if there’s anything that can bring a bunch of full, drunk Black people together it’s Jesse Spano mispronouncing the names of famous designers. This magnificent piece of shit came out fifteen years ago, so obviously it’s long overdue for a sequel, right? Cut to: this.
The trailer for Showgirls Fucking 2 begins with a creepy repurposing of Scholly D’s “PSK (What Does It Mean)” as an apparently drugged stripper (I’m assuming) spills out of the tub only to be repeatedly cracked upside the head with a dumb bell by another drugged (?) stripper (?).
Then it gets bizarre: Someone sees the murder and screams, then there’s a close-up of some eyes, random insert of skull and cross bones, extended closeup of frightened eyes, Skelator (educated guess) playing the violin (man all typsa shit), some skank is dancing like a skank, a club is on fire, asscheeks grinding against a stripper pole ever so deliberately (she’s focused), extended shots of girl-on-girl, a buncha cops here and there and then I fucking gave up.
Man, listen. I don’t know what’s going on. All I know is these brawds look busted and old as hell.
I don’t endorse violence AT ALL but this particular nigga deserved to get his ass whooped. In fact, I’d say Sinterklaas didn’t whale on him enough. I don’t know why some Black folks think that all old while people are supposed to just shrivel up and withdraw from confrontations with us. I got some bad news for you: White people ain’t scared no more. Why do you think they’re moving to the ‘hood in droves? The more accepting whites become, the less afraid they are, and that’s a good thing. I see not a single racist motivation in this old dude. He was being provoked and underestimated by a basic ignoramus (“You know the type, loud as a motorbike, but wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruitfight.” – Hov) and decided he didn’t have to take it. I would love for Sinterklaas to come beast on some of the rude Negroes I encounter during my daily commutes. Metro needs a new general manager anyway.
The easiest way to identify a douchebag on Twitter is by the “verified account” badge on his or her profile. This is a fact. Because of the crushing avalanche of poo that is Pop Culture, I tend not to follow many famous people. It is rather like getting all dressed up for a fabulous exclusive party only to arrive and observe that everyone’s drinking malt liquor and eating wingettes. Such a profound disappointment, that. But, as it turns out, there’s enough dope people I consider worth following, with varying degrees of Fail. I promise more than half of them you won’t give a shit about, but walk with me anyway.
When I initially posted “The 8 Black Gays you will meet in your lifetime” it was meant as a response to Gawker’s “Handy Guide To All Gay Men”, not a social experiment, and certainly not something to be taken seriously. But, wow, did some of you kids take it seriously! A lot of the response has been great, since most people chuckled and kept it moving. But how long did it take for the Reactive Online Intelligentsia to get bent out of shape? Not very. Although I said I wouldn’t acknowledge the bitching and whining and moaning and misguided attempts to kick knowledge on this topic on my website, it appears that this has escalated to a Very Serious Matter, so now we must box. I hope your arms are long enough to go with me, shorty.
Sometimes–SOMETIMES–I believe I would greatly enjoy doing some fantastic terrifying shit like this. See how dude is all “Wait? Is she really going there with this?” Then he’s like “Well okay, I’ll ease her mind,” and then “BAM!! SCARY NIGGA!” This joint is epic like jalapeno cheese grits! (via)
One of my favorite films to enjoy over the holidays with family is Showgirls, because if there’s anything that can bring a bunch of full, drunk Black people together it’s Jesse Spano mispronouncing the names of famous designers. This magnificent piece of shit came out fifteen years ago, so obviously it’s long overdue for a sequel, right? Cut to: this.
When I initially posted