novaslim.com

(Completely, unapologetically jacked from BGB’s version and a lot of other negroes I’m in blog-love with.)
NOTE: This post is much easier to understand after the reading the one that precedes it.
Top 5 things wrong in my field of vision right now:
1. The fact that the same black people that have been giving MJ grief all this time have decided to

Beavis, this sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. Heheh…
If the title of this entry isn’t any indication, then let me decode it for you:
I am pissed to the utmost highest levels of pissivity and I am in an enormous, steaming cowdung shit of a mood. Well, actually I’m not that mad anymore. I’m just drained and feeling a little loopy, as in off the mark, as in 2 cans short of a six-pack.
Long story short, I attempted to upgrade my OS and my PC wasn’t having it. There isn’t enough room on the Internet for me to recount everything that went down. But here’s the result of everything that happened: I didn’t back my shit up before the big meltdown, so I am basically starting fresh. Those hot new layouts I’ve been working on for me and Sunray? Gone. I can recreate them in PhotoShop, but then I’d have to reinstall Photoshop. Small potatoes. Any mp3 I’ve ever downloaded is gone, except for the stuff I ended up burning. I suppose the upside to this is that the RIAA has no proof for the most part. The novels I’ve been working on. Gone. I’m not as upset about this as I should be. Most of it was a bunch of crap anyway. A lesson I learned a while ago is that anything worth remembering will be retained, I think I got that from Stephen King or somebody. And at least someone hasn’t had the opportunity to steal my shit. Any software that I downloaded that I had to pay for? Gone. I suppose this pisses me off the most, but I am sure there’s a way around that to get them back. Basically, I don’t have nothing on my PC except for the stuff that was on it when it was first purchased. 3 years of crap has been deleted, including viruses (I suppose that’s the good part).
In the end, I went through all this shit (my PC did everything but bleed all over my floor) only to learn that I really had no business trying to upgrade my OS in the first place. So I’m still on ’98. I will be on ’98 until I am able to just buy a new PC altogether and that really won’t be happening anytime soon.
If you have any compassion for what I just went through, just say something in the vein of “Welcome back” or “Lesson learned”. I can’t really bear to have anyone tell me that I should’ve backed everything up because the idea at this point is null and utterly ridiculous. My pet peeve is people telling me what I could’ve or should’ve done. It’s sooooo after the fact. (Lesson learned) Another thing to keep in mind is that it will take a while for me to get around to my typical busness of adding things to this website other than entries. I have to re-download my FTP program as well. I guess what I am basically trying to say is don’t ask for shit. Really. It would totally insensitive for anyone to expect me to pretty up this site at anything other than my own comfortable pace, including my hostee’s blog.
In closing, I’m glad I was missed. It’s good to be missed. I like it. But now we can get back to the business of being in business.
Later kiddles.

Back in February after the Living With Michael Jackson documentary aired, I was bored and wrote my own Michael Jackson interview. This is the way it should’ve gone. . .

In light of the recent media blitz surrounding Michael Jackson, I decided to contact Michael and meet him at his Neverland Ranch in order to get the real facts. I joined him in one of the parlors of his large home, and he has brought his youngest child Prince Michael II with him.
NOVA: How are you feeling today, Michael?
JACKSON: I

Ok, thanks to Karsh MT has been reinstalled and seems to be working okay. I am still working on my new layout. This is my way of letting you know I’m here!
Now who wants drinks?

(DISCLAIMER: These rants are not aimed at anyone specifically and certainly not any of my dailies, just stuff that I’ve noticed while ending up lost in BlogWorldLand. Overall, this post is meant more to entertain rather than inform.)
Blog Shit to Remember:

1. Just because I do not comment on your entry doesn’t mean I didn’t read it. I am generally more likely to read and comment if your post contains one of my current obsessions: the state of hip-hop, male-on-male politics, Madonna, or the Cheese of the Month Club.
2. If you are one of those people with a banging-ass layout but can’t write your way out of a wet paper bag yet people flock to your site like you are the next big shit after Big Pussy from The Sopranos, you are the reason my scalp burns. No, really. You are.
3. I hate entries like this:
   

   “I didn’t do much today, so I’m not gonna write anything. See ya later.”

   What kind of clusterfuckery is that? I don’t mind small posts that provide links, a photo or other media, but honestly! If you are one of those people that have nothing to write, there is a simple solution to this. Lean in close and I’ll tell you. JUST DON’T FUCKING WRITE!

4. I change my layout on a monthly basis because I can and because it only takes a few days for me to decide that my page looks like shit.
5. This has only happened a few times and I don’t intend for it to ever happen again. Don’t leave me comments disagreeing with me too harshly or telling me how wrong I am or that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. No, seriously. I am all for differing points of view, but I’d prefer that you didn’t leave your shit stain all over my webspace. I will track you down via your IP address and send ten Italians with bats to your spot to bust up your shit, okay? With bats. With the intent of busting up your shit.
6. Furthermore, just don’t complain about my shit at all. Your first option in this case would be to sniff a nut. It might prove easier than dealing with me.
7. Techy/nerdy blogs bore the fuck out of me. I’m not talking about blogs that are intended to help, such as tutorials or ideas, I mean blogs like this:
   

   “Microsoft has done it again! I am all over this new version of Redundant Software. Redundant Software 6.89 is waaaaay cooler than Redundant Software 6.88! I’ve been waiting for this version for exactly a month, two days and 5 hours! My friends at the AeroSpace Club will be so jealous!”

   Dude, get a life. No, seriously. Discover hookers or crime or something…

8. I am not the best speller in the world, and sometimes when I am excited I use extremely bad grammar. However, if you are a perpetual pathological non-spelling retarded-ass 12-year-old inhabiting the body of a 30-year-old, then your dumb ass shouldn’t be allowed within thinking distance of a computer. Your blog is the graffiti of the innanet!
9. I do not always assume that you are telling the truth, so don’t assume I am either. I have license to “flip it” sometimes, or rearrange the facts to the nearest truth. As long as it’s a good read, who cares?
10. The first time I put a pic of myself on my site, someone sent me an email trying to “get up” with me. This will be acceptable the day I post a pic of my ass with the words “Open for business” tattooed across it. Someone has clearly missed the point.
11. I’d prefer if you didn’t say bad things (in your blog or in my comments) about the following people: Mary J. Blige, Will Smith the Actor, Eminem, Madonna, Janet, or Christina Aguilera. Talking shit about J-Lo is played out as well. However, I’ll be your best friend if you have bad things to say about R. Kelly, Will Smith the Rapper, Lil’ Jon, BoneCrusher’s titty-shaking self, Nick Cannon, Dubya (WMD’s my ass!), Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, 50 Cent, Ja Rule, or Ashanti.
12. Off-topic comments and trackbacks are clearly created with the devil in mind.
13. I suggest that anyone doing a blogsite know some fundamental HTML, i.e., how to CREATE A LINK! Some of us are just in it to write and I totally understand that, BUT, if your site looks like the dogshit of West Hell on a hot summer’s day, then me, Karsh, and Donald are willing to provide a little Queer Eye for the Blog Guy. For a price.

This concludes today’s rant. I’ll be back with a more positive post the day I think of something nice to say.