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While talking with my BGBs about love last night, an interesting sentiment was raised: Do us single folk need a man?
Well, way deep down inside, I say emphatically “No!” The want far outweighs the need, and the want is only 50% of the time for certain things. I mean, honestly, even women don’t need men to procreate these days. So how is the want for a companion confused with the need for one?
I respect the power of love and regardless of what I may have posted before, I think love is grand. I jokingly refer to myself as a “love hater” but the whole thing enchants me. It’s the getting there that’s so damn hard. I think when we’re in love, it’s nice to feel like we need the other person. Needing someone you’re already in a relationship with is okay, needing a man you’ve never met is something totally different.
There’s the sex thing. Not just busting a nut but actual fornication with another human being, which may constitute a need. But sometimes that doesn’t even feel good to me unless it’s with someone I love or at least have a long-standing rapport with, so I’m back to square one again.
After stating the type of person I’d like to connect with and how, a question was presented: “Well, what are you giving?”
Giving? I hope this didn’t mean anything tangible, because that would be downright shallow, so I will give the benefit and assume it meant other things. In either case, I wasn’t too comfortable with this question. Not because of what I have (or don’t have) to offer, but simply because it’s not the sort of thing one should have to think about. Whenever I enter into a new relationship, I shouldn’t have to wonder what I am going to bring to the table. It should never come into question, especially since I am not after a full-fledged LTR right now.
I think that’s where the confusion comes in and why many relationships/companionships fail. I am not in this for “stuff” or to be validated as a living breathing human being. The most important things to me at this point are the ability to connect and have mutual understanding, to respect one another as people and men, and to be able to communicate without feeling like I’m walking on landmines.
I’m pretty up front with men when it comes to the type of relationship I am after and where my mind is. Sad part is, a lot of others aren’t and they let certain feelings fester and get out of control until there’s nothing left to do but argue, fuss and fight. I’m not into drama in a relationship and I will prevent unnecessary drama at all costs. I am not perfect, in fact I think I’m the complete opposite of perfect. However, I feel like making your feelings plain off the top is the best policy.
Being in a relationship, I could take it or leave it. Am I walking around in the daytime with a flashlight looking for the man that will love me and take care of me and treat me like I’m the reason the sun rises in the morning? No. I’m still getting to know myself as a person, and if I happen to go out on a date or form some sort of psuedo-relationship along the way, then that’s cool too. But he just needs to be man enough not to tune me out when I give him the answers to the questions he really has.

…then I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck is going on?
Well, in all my layout/uploading/rebuilding frenzy last night (or rather this morning) I somehow screwed up the Moveable Type editing menu for the main site. Nearly all of my index templates disappeared and things just got a little screwy. So here I am, using what started off as my blog to test new layouts as my temporary blog. I kind of have the sick feeling that I’ve done irrepairable damage to the main blog but, whatever. It’s just a website. Trust me, I freaked out in the beginning but I cannot let some technical difficulties get me down and keep me from blogging. That would be folly and folly ain’t my thizzle.
The downside to all of this is that my old archives aren’t readily available. To those of you that know how to dig into people’s FTP nether regions, by all means, view the old stuff. However, it looks like crap right now, an amalgamation of layouts over the past few months, probably unreadable.
Oh well. I may be black, ugly and a woman, but I’m here! I’M HERE!

1. Why does the dude that sells incense and oils always smell bad?
2. Why can you buy blunts, Tide, and a Cup of Noodles at the ice cream truck but not ice cream?
3. Why does meatloaf get such a bad rap?
4. Ain’t VH1 Soul the bomb?
5. Isn’t D’Angelo’s “How Does it Feel” still the sexiest video ever?
6. Why is Missy Elliott all of a sudden trying to be a sex kitten?
7. If Will Smith played Neo and Halle Berry played Trinity in The Matrix, would it be considered a “black film”?
8. Hasn’t The Simpsons been on the air longer than the local news?
9. Aren’t all of Jagged Edge’s songs starting to sound alike?
10. Aren’t Lord of the Rings fans as a group just weird folks?
11. Don’t you wish Alicia Keys would only sing and never ever talk?
12. What are they going to use for snow on the cover of Whitney Houston’s Christmas album?
13. How does Aida go from starring Heather Headley to Toni Braxton to Michelle from Destiny’s Child?
14. Shouldn’t Ja Rule’s new single be called “Crap Back”?
15. Why do tennis shoes these days have to be all colorful and complicated and shit?
16. Shouldn’t Deborah Cox just give up the ghost and become a straight-up house artist?
17. Why does ComicView have more hoochies shaking their asses than people telling jokes?
18. If the war in Iraq gives Donald Rumsfeld such a hard-on, why doesn’t his bitch-ass go fight it?
19. Why don’t Madonna and Britney just screw already?
20. Or have they?
21. Can’t this new Outkast album teach other artists a thing or two?

After a long hiatus, my twin Mr. Phat Lips is back with his hilarious Church Announcements. I was going to wait until next Sunday, but I just couldn’t resist.

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DISCLAIMER: This is a public service announcement brought to you by Novito. Novito does not give a fuck what you think. If you don’t like it, you can kiss his fucking ass. Little did you know, upon entering this website, you have just given him a hummer. Novito is fed up with your shit, and he’s going to puke on you.

So I went to the party last night with NewBeau, two actually. The first one was uneventful, as in, I didn’t get shitfaced drunk and almost thrown out like at the second party. The first thing that needs to be understood is that, when I go out, I am all me. My sense of humor is wicked, and I have a smart-ass and sometimes filthy mouth. Usually this doesn’t get me into any conflict, because it’s just comedy, right?

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