novaslim.com

This might be quite the lengthy post. I expected to simply recount certain events that went down while I was in Atlanta, but it just so happens that there is a thread between what happened there and what just happened at home. I’ll try to be as brief and to the point as possible, but there are several things that I need to cover right now.
Remember when nOva used to get sloshed and spill the hellified cookies at house parties? Well, two particular queens have stolen that thunder and I cannot even say I’m mad.

Picture it. Atlanta. The D.I.C. New Year’s Party. You know how I am and you know how he is. People already had preconceived notions of how things would go down at this party with the two of us present, including myself, The Slim One. Long story short, we both got drunk. He was social drunk, the man of the hour, and I was chatty, pathetic drunk. He met an interesting character and established a rapport while I remained the poor man’s Joan Rivers (ain’t Joan Rivers the poor man’s Joan Rivers?). My melody that night went a little something like this:

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This is a bit premature, but I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year while I’m sober here at the D.I.C. Trust me, I won’t want to do it tomorrow. So, yeah, like H.N.Y. and stuff!
One thing I will not be doing is reflecting on all the B.S. I encountered this year, or wishing everyone a sappy prosperous New Year. Have a happy new year. Not because I mean it, God knows I don’t want anyone other than myself to be happy, but it just sounds good. I will not encourage you to go for that gold this year. I don’t care if you get that promotion, that new home, or that engagement ring. You see, I want to be happy and prosperous and shit this year. I think it’s my turn, ya know? So whether not you are in a better place in 2004, I could give a rat’s ass unless it directly benefits me. We don’t do corny ’round these parts, trick, iz you smokin’?
For me, the wishes and reflection are bullshit, because you and I both know this is the way we should be thinking every day of the year. Why use January 1st as an excuse? Why do we resolve to quit smoking, pay off our credit and lose weight on this day? Why wait? Society tells us that the beginning of the year means a fresh start, but that’s just not true. And no, this is not one of my anti-tradition rants, I am just encouragiing people to be true to themselves and look inside. There is nothing stopping us from trying to improve who we are any other day of the year. You dig? Think about that, and resolve to be the fattest, smokingest, most in-debt son-of-a-bitch you can be. Resolve to be lazy and trifling. Make a promise to yourself that you will go an entire three weeks without wiping your shitty ass. Why? Because, whenever you make a New Year’s Resolution, chances are you’re lying any damn way, so why not resolve to be just as fucked up as we usually are? You know what we at nOvaSlim.com have to say to that kind of pomp and foolishness:
CHILE CHEEESE!
And now some additional holiday cheer from fellow blogger and realest Karsh of blackgayblogger.com.

2003 was a muthafucka. Say it with me. A muthafucka. But by the time you read this, it’ll be over, and you’ll have an arm’s length list of resolutions, and the local gyms and drugstores will be rubbing their hands together in greedy delight over your sudden burst of self-improvement.

Ain’t it grand?

If you ask me, this whole “being real” thing is a double-edged sword with most people. Isn’t being real meaning that you see the good and the bad, the thick and the thin, the ketchup and the mustard? Yeah, I’ve read Essence and some shit by Dr. Phil. But I also delve into a little self-deprecation every now and again. Isn’t being real being able to laugh at yourself? To recognize your faults and now that — hey, life ain’t gon’ revolve around every Tom, Dick and Tyrone and to hell with them if they think it will?

I’ve got a co-worker who has decided to wait to stop smoking until July. Why? Quoth her, “Because the patches will be too expensive in January, there’s too much candy in February, and everyone will be on outside patios at restaurants smoking until it’s too hot to want the extra heat.” Being a pessimist? Nah. Being real? Definitely. You wanna know why these things are called resolutions? Break it up, kiddies — re + solutions. Meaning the solution’s there, but it didn’t get done the first time. And isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results?

So twenty zero three is done and gone. Good riddance to thee. Sure, we’ll remember it, but we won’t live in the past. We’ll know that wishing and doing are just as natural to our complex little selves as bitching and moaning. And once we all realize that, our lives on this little blue orb will be a whole lot more enjoyable. 2004, bring it on bitch!

Thank you, Karsh.
So, again, I’d like to wish all of you a Happy New Year, and by “happy” I mean gay, like grab the new year by the nuts, hard, and show him who’s boss, girls!
SHAMELESS PLUG: “The Big Rocka Awards” at Rocka’s World.

Welcome to Atlanta, jackin hammers and vogues
Back to the mackin and jackin the clothes, adolescent packin a fo’
A knock on the do’, who is it? I would happen to know
The one with the flow – who did it?, it was me I suppose…
- Ludacris & JD
SOMEONE thought it would be a good idea to post an entry announcing that I was here so that’s what I’m doing. I’m here in Atlanta. The first day was fabulous, I got to meet everyone I was looking forward to meeting, so my links page has many stars now.
Just letting you all know I had a safe flight and made it here on time. I will be keeping you abreast of all the action here, if EJ and Prime don’t beat me to the punch.
One.

I. am. so. fucking. tired. My plane leaves for Atlanta tomorrow and I waited until today to start packing. Dumb dumb dumb. I hate packing and I hate going to the airport. There should be a way for me to just beam into Georgia. The worst thing is packing shoes, and even worse than that is that unlike Cali, I cannot pack a bunch of short stuff (space-savers). And even worse than that is I have to carry my own luggage! Yeah, I know, I’m a premiere type bitch. Travelling is too much, too too much.
However, I did manage to use my MixMeister to make a fly-ass lil’ “Gettin’ My Black Ass on a Plane” mix (see graphic), so that might make it fun, right? Right? When I’m tired (through), I ramble.
Anyhoo, I’ll be heading out tomorrow. Wish me safe flight and all that yadda. Gon’ to meet the ATL bloggers. This should be interestin’…
One.

Young and different, uh
She looked at a condom, uh
And could still see the sun, uh
Do you remember 21, uh?
Can I stay to wait huh?
Grow up today huh
Can you really blame her?
Shit you couldn’t even stay home
When the world feels like it’s coming and
And you don’t know what you know
And you think about what’s holding you
It’s relatives and close
Just leave it all behind, you gotta get away
You gotta get away
Everybody
-Kelis, “Young, Fresh & New”

1. Who’s the Greatest Rapper?
   Am I the only one that thinks this argument is played out? Since when did opinion become fact? The Notorious B.I.G., ‘Pac, Jay-Z, Scarface and Nas are usually the ones mentioned. I like who I like for the reasons I like them, but that doesn’t make what I say the standard that everyone should go by. I can give you a million different reasons why I think one is better than the other, but in the end, it’s a matter of personal opinion. Debating facts is more worth it than this, and if I see or hear this discussion on one more hip-hop site or on the radio, I don’t know what I am going to do.
2. Judging Celebs for Their Personal Lives
   When a celebrity commits a crime, it might be worth debating, when they have a new significant other every year, that’s their business. J-Lo is the main one that receives this kind of grief. I am not a fan of this woman, but I think it totally sucks that people refer to her as “J-Ho” simply because of the way she handles her relationships. I know several other people that are non-celebrities doing the same thing and worse, and they aren’t judged nearly as harshly. We pretty much need to get a life and move on.
3. Same Ol’ Lame Ol’
   This bandwagon busniess in music is really starting to irritate me. When an artist blows up for having a certain sound and everyone else jumps on it, the quality of the music is diluted and the integrity is shot. Does Usher really need to be doing a song with Lil’ Jon because Lil’ Jon is supposedly what’s hot right now? And why are new artists coming out that sound no different than established ones? I want to hear something new and fresh. I want to feel the way I felt when I first heard N*E*R*D, or Aaliyah’s “One in A Million”, or countless OutKast records that are worth naming. In 2004, I want more creativity, thought, and originality behind urban music, intead of this seemingly endless piggy-backing.
4. A Third One? No Thank You
   I can cut Lord of the Rings some slack considering the source material, but this whole trilogy business going on in Hollywood is getting to be a bit much. For The Powers That Be in Hollywood, it’s all about the money and franchising, less about the story. On paper, it sounded like a good idea, going back to the old days of cinema where they had serials and cliffhangers, but now that’s it’s a reality, I think it’s the next worst thing to overkill. Now we have to worry about this upcoming Star Wars film, and who knows how bad it will be given George Lucas’ current state of mind? I’m not saying wipe-out the trilogies altogether, I just say do it right.
5. Ignorance is Cool!
   My people, my people… When will we learn? Why do we allow our children to be influenced by the bullshit they see on TV and hear on the radio? I think a good way to illustrate this would be the idea behind “Pimp Juice”, the product. Pimps are not heroes, people. At best, they are funny characters we saw in blaxploitation films, and at worst, they’re the guys you never want your 13-year-old daughter to meet. When you market products like this for the mainstream, you are making ignorance even more commercial than it is in the music. Do we really want the rest of the world to see us this way?

There are a few more things I’d prefer not to be exposed to in the new year, but they all basically point to the same sentiment: If pop culture can be considered the politics of the new millenium, then we need to check how it all affects us as a society. There are several trends we follow either consciously or subconsciously, and not all of them are for the greater good. This especially goes for us African-Americans since we seem to watch TV more than anyone else, buy into the product placement we hear in hip-hop, and put a cute bag higher up on our list of priorities.
We are being led down the wrong path because of a lot of the things we’re exposed to, and we’re dragging our children with us. I guess I went through all this to say we need to focus on the important stuff, not the trivial.
One.