C-ing W.hite

What the fuck you thought “CW” stood for? Country Western? Catwoman?
When it comes to black programming on TV, I think we’ve got it all wrong.
Everybody Hates ChrisThere was a recent piece on the Chicago Defender’s site, pondering how UPN’s Monday night lineup would fare in the face of the UPN/WB merger. The article re-treads many of the same points we’ve been making for years about black programming (or the lack thereof) on network television, and I’ve just about had enough of it. I do not want to see a black show on TV just for the sake of filling a void.
There. I said it.
While I agree that there’s definitely been a decline in black shows on network TV, I think we’ve lost sight of the bigger picture. We all wave our arms and stomp our feet and cry foul because of under-representation, but no one’s really saying what they want to see. And at this point, I’m not sure what I want to see either because network television is a snore right now.
But “Everybody Hates Chris” is funny as hell.

Christian groups can dish it out BUT–

Oh please!!!!!
When it comes to poking fun, religious zealots shouldn’t be exempt, Christian or Wiccan.
For your reading pleasure I present this wacky article via Rod.
“NBC is clearly mocking the Christian faith,” says Donald Wildmon, founder of the Mississippi-based American Family Association of W&G’s “cruxi-fixin’” Britney Spears cameo. Like they don’t leave themselves open for ridicule. I once attended a wedding where the after-dinner mints were called “Testa-mints”. True story. What am I missing here?
In a TOTALLY UNRELATED STORY, the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket Coretta Scott King’s funeral today because she “endorsed the gay agenda”. I mean, seriously, the woman is dead. A little tact, maybe?
This is why we make fun of Christians.

friends don’t let friends read smut

I stumbled upon this pedestrian review of Erica Kennedy’s Bling on amazon.com:

(2 out of 4 stars) not a true ghetto read…, July 26, 2005
i really could not get into this book because it was TOO bushy. it reminded me of how fake people act in the V.I.P. lines at night clubs. it was written nicely (no typos, etc.) but just no where near the level of a Nikki Turner, Sister Souljah type book that i perfer.

4-star reviews from this reader include How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, A Hustler’s Wife, A Project Chick, and Confessions of a Video Vixen.
And here I am thinking I was being too judgmental . . .
In other news….
Re: the UPN/WB merger, a poster at Ain’t It Cool News asked “so does this mean aquaman is going to be black??”
Like, even if it’s a totally racist question (I’ve had some thoughts myself about UPN’s “programming” in the past) it’s so fucking hilarious!!!

Singles: 2005 (flipside)

I had to post this before it became grossly irrelevant.
There were some great songs released in 2005, as detailed here, but my longtime readers know that I’m at my best when I’m bitching and whining about shit. So, without further ado, here’s my list of BULLSHIT-ASS MARK-ASS SONGS released last year.
“Soul Survivor” by Young Cheesy and Acorn: I kinda like Jeezy and not just because he has the Jigga seal of approval, but any song featuring Akon is stab-worthy. I am still trying to understand the draw when it comes to this fellow. Is it because Nate Dogg is done? Or are singers that CAN’T SING just a prerequisite when it comes to choruses? I’m confused about this one. Please, someone, break it down for me.
“Laffy Taffy” by D4L: This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I mean, I like fun, silly songs about as much as the next person, but this joint is just OFF-KEY. I get into the southern shit quite heavily these days, so this ain’t no shade to the south. It just sounds really really bad. Catchy my ass!! This shit is pure laziness!! The only reason I qualify as a hater in this case is because the shit was successful. Fuck you for disagreeing with me.
“I’m Sprung” by T-Pain: As you can see, I hate songs by ugly people. Where the fuck does Acorn get off having a protege?? Record industry people, this is why we don’t buy rekkids no mo’. Assholes.
“My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas: Monkey Business indeed!!! I remember the days of old when BEP was actually a hip-hop group. I yearn for those days. While not as bad as the previous joints on this list, it’s still stab-worthy. The BEP should be released out into the wild and used for target practice for releasing this dookie. This song makes me violent.
“Trapped in the Closet (pts. 1-infinity)” by R. Overkilly: Just when I settle into some mild acceptance of this nigga (and I don’t use the term loosely; he is what he is), he goes and does some dumb shit like this and all I can do is fly into a BLIND MOTHERFUCKING RAGE. Who’s advising him? This entire production is an insult to R&B and music in general. It was ridiculous from it’s inception and only solidified his place as R&B’s reigning lunatic. I just want him to go away. Please… Just disappear. Aside from being downright annoying and misguided, he is by far one of the laziest producers in the game. This was just another excuse for him to use the same beat over and over again. I wish ill on R. Kelly.
HATED IT!!!

COMMENT ROUNDUP: On Black Smut

This was the topic of the day yesterday.
For those of you that aren’t fortunate enough to read the piece in it’s entirety, I saved the text to my email and will quote the gist of it here:

But up until that visit to Borders in Lithonia, I had thought this mostly a phenomenon of the black retail world, where the black bookstore owners and street vendors say they have to stock what sells, and increasingly what sells are stories that glorify and glamorize black criminals. The genre has been described by different names; “ghetto fiction” and “street lit” are two I’ve heard most often. Apparently, what we are now seeing is the crossover of this genre to mainstream bookstores.
But the placard above this section of Borders in Lithonia didn’t say “Street Lit,” it said “African-American Literature.” We were all represented under that placard, the whole community of black authors – from me to Terry McMillan and Toni Morrison, from Yolanda Joe and Benilde Little to Edward P. Jones and Kuwana Haulsey – surrounded and swallowed whole on the shelves by an overwhelming wave of titles and jackets that I wouldn’t want my 13-year-old son to see: “Hustlin’ Backwards.” “Legit Baller.” “A Hustler’s Wife.” “Chocolate Flava.”
I’ve heard defenders say that the main buyers of these books, young black women, have simply found something that speaks to them, and that it’s great that they’re reading something. I’d agree if these books were a starting point, and that readers ultimately turned to works inspired by the best that’s in us, not the worst.

I’ve responded on Felicia Pride’s blog:

This is certainly the topic of the day, isn’t it? LOL! I don’t get into those books (tried reading one and my eyes immediately started hurting) but I do not doubt that there is a place for them. However, there needs to be balance and I don’t think they should represent the majority of our literary diet.

… and on funkdigital:

The mere existance of these books is bad enough without it being catagorized with the more legit stuff. Justify it however you like, but I don’t like the way they dominate black literature.

…and on Simply Fred Smith:

While I agree that these books are tacky, badly-written, sensationalistic and just overall trash, I don’t think we should try to hold them to the same standard as the more legit works. But that’s the only defense I have for them. I’m just annoyed by how nowadays they represent the majority of black lit, at least according to the booksellers. It’s downright insulting. You would think that was all we were reading. The quality of the books is bad too. A lot of them haven’t even been within sniffing distance of an editor.

and I responded to Danyel Smith’s comment on Rod 2.0 via email (snippet):

I don’t disagree that there is a market for everything and every writer has a place, but I think the main thing that bugs people like me is how these low-quality, low-brow books represent the majority of black fiction, at least in the minds of booksellers…I mean, I’m no booksnob, I love Jackie Collins, but a lot of these ….books are being published at breakneck speed with little regard to quality or the english language. I’m all for some true-to-life, gritty storytelling, but I think there are still certain things that need to be adhered to in the case of novel-writing….I won’t dog anyone for reading them, but I think there needs to be more balance.

This list is more or less to help me make sure my views are consistent. I hope they appear to be. But my main thing is, this ain’t about “write and let write”, “read and let read” or even “if you don’t like it, don’t read it.” It’s about representation and balance, or lack thereof.
I am open to criticism if my views appear a little knee-jerk. In fact, here’s some ammo: I thought about writing one of these books to see if it would get my foot in the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
GO!!

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