Not to call this fact particularly shocking but coming up with a witty, smart-ass title would seem disingenuous and kind of tired at this point, especially since I’m on his side. The thing that bothers me about much of the response to this reveal is the entitlement, as if Hayes somehow is a coward for not publicly acknowledging his sexuality during his tenure at Will & Grace, even though he was playing an over-the-top effeminate character with panache and apparent relish. Coming out is not a public service, it is a personal choice. The circumstances and motivations that dictate the choice to come out aren’t the same for everyone. Period.
Back to one of my earlier points about internal oppression and the way we divide amongst ourselves based on so many criteria, you can’t leave out the sense of superiority that exists among some of those that came to terms with their sexuality a lot earlier than others. For some of us it is effortless and drama-free, for others it’s painful and rather like walking through fire. Regardless of what you endured or didn’t, it does absolutely no good to stare down your nose at someone that doesn’t meet your “coming out” standards. I came out when I was 16. Does that make me any more wise, more heroic or better than someone that comes out at 20? 40? 60?
You can miss me with the notion that if there were more out celebrities it will help the legions of children and, perhaps, adults that are struggling with their sexuality. Are you kidding me? There’s a fair notion that celebrities should be publicly responsible, but this argument reeks of desperately seeking celebrity validation. Additionally, just because Hayes was never out to you or me (the public) doesn’t necessarily mean he was closeted to the people in his life that truly matter. It’s not as if he hit the red carpet with a beard or went out of his way to cover it up; he simply did not say “I’m gay” and was otherwise cagey when confronted with the question, and quite frankly that’s his business. He owes me nothing.
Sean Hayes: I Am Who I Am — The Advocate
Sean Hayes Comes Out — Towleroad
Sean Hayes Just Came Out. And He’s Furious You Made Him Do It — Queerty
