Oh dear. I think it’s time I finally, truthfully, go on record about how I feel about this Beyonce person. Not that anyone particularly cares what I have to say unless it’s here, but for those of you still reading, here goes:
What is it with her? Like, is there anyone “at home” in there?
I think, at nearly 30, I’m way too young to feel like I’ve seen/heard everything there is to see/hear in music. When the current stuff gets dull, I often find myself digging into the archives, back to the good shit. That kind of discovery is always rewarding, especially since it is truly independent of modern tastemakers that so often piggyback one another. So when people gag and marvel at everything Beyonce does, I just don’t get it. Maybe she’s really, really trying to push herself to create something that is either visually or aurally fresh. But she can’t. There isn’t a single new idea under the sun, and unfortunately when it’s presented in the package that is her, I’m never really inspired to say “Oh she nailed that.”
Beyonce, the more famous she becomes, tends to remind me of a little girl playing dress-up. You look into her face, and at once you can tell she’s very serious about putting on a good show, but it always feels like a great big joke. She’s the perpetual drag queen in the Bob Mackey fashion show that is Urban Pop.
And the funny thing is, I’m supposed to have a genetic predisposition to Beyonce worship, what with me being Black and gay and all. And sometimes I think, maybe I’m not that moved because I’m almost 30, and her target is 12-year-olds, but time after time I find myself containing my laughter at 40-year-old Black gay men that think she’s Jesus. Like Diana and Tina didn’t happen. This phenomenon never fails to astound me.
So no, I don’t particularly hate her. Hate would mean that she stirs some kind of emotion in me. But I also don’t like her very much. She’s good for a cute, catchy single, but beyond that, I feel like we finally have a nationally-beloved Black “diva” that in her prime would hump the stage for coins and it would be boring, or at most slightly humorous.
I originally posted this shit on my Tumblr and decided it was too long to just sit there.
Do you see these things right here to the right? These round, generous appendages belong to Amy Winehouse, who is not known for having anything round or generous. I don’t presume to know how she came upon these although the first assumption would be surgery. But who knows? There are a number of ways an individual can gain weight in one place. So yeah, surgery. I just thought I would do my part in pointing this out, as neutrally as possible, because obviously she wants people to know. So there. Amy Winehouse’s new rack. Behold. More here…
