Archive for the ‘disclosure’ Category

disclosure // February 1st, 2010 // 1 Comment

Ok, so fucking seriously

I don’t know how anyone at this juncture could mistake this for a music blog. Ok, so perhaps posting a weekly podcast, e-jizzing about Janet Jackson, talking about talking about music and penning the occasional Hip-Hop rant counts? Nah son. It so does not. Let me get to the point where I can be a fan again. The promo emails, the queries for submissions, etcetera are all kind of creepy, spammy, desperate and antithetical to anything I’m passionate about right now. This is a personal site and the focus shifts depending on what spirit I’m feeling at the time. (Technically, it’s FTP space masquerading as a website, but whatevs.) Why would I need a contributor? El oh el.

 

Editorializing and recommending music is not my arena. I suppose I’ve advanced to “Level 3 Cynicism” (which can be traded with “Ambivalence” depending on the day) in that there are probably about 4 or 5 people that I can engage with on the topic of music and feel like I am being matched. This does not come with the (public) online discourse, least not for me. Case in point, I was discussing this very matter with a music blogger (one of the aforementioned 4 or 5) who has mentioned that writing about music lately is rather like talking to a room full of people that are there to hear what you have to say but then don’t want to listen. As in, you may think you’re ready to go there with me, but you are so clearly ill-equipped to do so.

 

“Level 1″, by the way, is cautious cynicism wherein someone like myself is at a point of discovery and is still excited and inspired by uncovering gems and presenting them for your enjoyment, but with undertones of “Ha! While you were listening to 106 & Park’s Cultural Ambassador of The Week, you missed this.” ”Level 2″ is Pop Culture Shaming (“Oh you listen to that? What are you, twelve?”). So I’m at “Level 3″, where I’m more prone to ever-so heavily sigh and rub my temple regardless of the subject’s level of mainstream visibility, individuality, talent, or chutzpah. The Kid is drained, bored, and uninspired not only by the music itself (this feeling comes in waves; when something dope drops I’ll shout it from the rooftops) but more or less the dialog that exists right now. There is a circle, a social one and a mental one, that I choose to no longer run in, because I get dizzy. And when I get dizzy I vomit.

 

I’m not joking.

 

For anyone that has followed this for the past seven years, you already know when there’s some momentum to my output, the level of engagement increases right around the time I get bored. So this is either par for the course or I might stick to it.

 

disclosure // January 11th, 2010 // No Comments

Random and current facts about me:

  • I suck at Jazz, like, I know as much about Jazz music as I do sports (which I like to refer to as “professional televised gym class.”)
  • I do not like Corrine Bailey Rae. I’m compelled to point this out because she always comes up in music conversations with me. I suppose my engagement in certain types of music means it’s likely I’m into her, but I’m not.
  • I like Destiny’s Child as a group more than Beyoncé and I bought all of their CDs.
  • I frequently bitch about this because it hasn’t changed: I’m the only gay dude I know that loves Hip-Hop the way I do. (In fact, I once dated someone that told me I wasn’t a Hip-Hop head because I wasn’t into his Lil’ Wayne and T.I. records, yet he knew nothing of the type of artists I listen to. Yeah, let’s start there…)
  • Say anything bad about Janet Jackson and I will skin you alive and wear your hide as a fanciful Snuggie.
  • I have no patience for overly sensitive people that seek out offense and disrespect in everything in order to have something to defend themselves against. Needy, emotionally high-maintenance people are highly repellent to me at this stage in my life. And I should know who they are; I used to be one.
  • I am not a graphic designer or a deejay. I am a writer.
  • I find myself becomingly increasingly bored with the topics and interests for which I have become known. Let’s start with music.
  • I’m fully prepared to be alone and am satisfied with that. The dating pool in my community seems to be comprised of the same four or five archetypes with little variation and too much overlap. I’m finding that people consider themselves a catch based on a ubiquitous checklist that has nothing to do with who they are as a person, and that’s boring.
  • I’m strongly considering dating outside of my race. If that offends you, it shouldn’t, and you may have a seat. Namaste.
  • I pursued the Dharma chiefly to alleviate stress and figure out why I was miserable. But I’ve learned much more beyond that. It’s much easier for me to love all people, regardless of the things that we perceive separate us. Those things are illusory and a distraction.
  • Batman rules.

Ask me anything…

This post was brought to you by the Throwback Novaslim Blogging Initiative © 2003.

(This originally went down on my Tumblr.)

disclosure // December 30th, 2009 // 4 Comments

Does this count as a resolution?

Buddha the Golden Retriever, courtesy of TheDailyPuppy.com

Buddha the Golden Retriever, courtesy of TheDailyPuppy.com


I will be a better person.

 

Eff your little funky “I will lose weight/stop smoking/finish my novel/go to church more often” resolutions. Also, eff them “I’m too cool to make a resolution” asses. You ain’t perfect!

 

I’m posting this here in the event someone wonders what my goals are for 2010. So  there you have it– my resolution is to be a better person. That’s not interesting, is it? My bad. I’d rather resolve to do something I’m already on a path to sticking to, for one. Also, shouldn’t this be the goal of humanity? I’m going to call it a “resolution” and see if I start a trend in the process. Perhaps I will cultivate an entirely new race of non-assholey people. Imagine how much progress we’d make if there were less assholes in the world. Fingers crossed!

 

(I encourage you to take away that “Wow, if nOva can stop being an asshole then anyone can.”)

 

This doesn’t mean that I will start passing out Togetherness pamphlets to random strangers, or that I will no longer engage in my characteristic cynicism, snark and foul language. But in my daily interactions I will be pleasant and gentile, even to those that are determined to be assholes no matter what. I won’t react to someone else’s rage with rage. I will not use words as weapons. I will not perpetuate controversy and drama. I will not surround myself with others that perpetuate controversy and drama. I will withdraw from potentially tense situations that I think will cause me great stress. I will not allow misguided emotions, mine or someone else’s, to drag me into a black hole of misery. I will not participate in “vengeance” or petty retribution. I’m not going to talk a bunch of shit just so people know how “bad” I am. I’m not dealing with whining, raging, insufferable killjoys and I won’t be one of them. I mean it. I’m going to radiate loving kindness and if you’re in my presence then you’re going to be effing happy too!

 

And not defiantly happy, not this forced plastic happiness that only happens when you want to prove to your enemies how much they can’t touch you. That’s not real. The happiness I’m talking about arises from feeling genuinely loved and content. It cannot be faked.

 

Etcetera.

 

In 2010 let’s attempt to reduce the asshole population by not being one of them.

 

‘Til next year,
nOva

 

P.S., whenever you start feeling assholey just think of the happy pup-pup at the top.

 

disclosure // December 22nd, 2009 // 1 Comment

The 12 mixes of the nOvaJavaBlend

12mixes

Twelve is a pretty dope number to close the year out with and a good one to take a break. I oscillate between being totally passionate about things for a spell to being overwhelmingly ambivalent and dismissive the next, mainly when it comes to music. I’mma keep it one-hundred, 2009 in music wasn’t that great. Sure, I picked some joints that, by a curve, were standouts, but overall this year has been a crushing disappointment. I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t heavily influenced by the death of Michael Jackson and how the vast majority of popular music is comparatively bad if you think about it long enough. Also, in 2008 there were many full albums that emerged as my favorites–Jazzanova, The Foreign Exchange, Q-Tip, Black Milk, Muhsinah, NERD, Jazmine Sullivan, and Elzhi. Not so much in 2009. I stand by that.

 

That’s only part of the reason I’ve lapsed. The podcasts are the only consistent activity on this site and even then if you subscribe via itunes you never have to visit it, but what to do in between? What’s to post about? There’s plenty going on in Pop Culture that I can snark on and minutiae has a tendency to inspire some of my best work. But I get to a point that investing any of my brain power in these matters, these things that are so small and silly and inconsequential, becomes exhausting to the point where I cannot muster a decent joke. And focusing on other matters that have shaped my worldview these days has eclipsed everything else. Reconciling my current immersion in these philosophies (chief among which is venerating wisdom above all things) with an acquired palette for fuckery should prove to be an interesting process going into my 30th year, but I’m not sure it would make for engaging blog posts to the audience I’ve cultivated since 2003.

 

A break, even from the podcast, is needed. I have a book to write, after all, and if my goal is to become a dedicated student of the Dharma by the time I turn 30 I need to channel my focus where it best suits me. So if you haven’t downloaded the first 11 episodes, go do that now. This week’s episode is the perfect climax to this phase of the nOvaJavaBlend and if you can’t tell what it is by the graphic above, then peep my Twitter background. Excitement happens now.

 

disclosure // October 14th, 2009 // 2 Comments

Not riding the MiJac Spirit Express.

And it isn’t because I’m not a fan. When it came to new Michael Jackson material or anything MJ-related in advance of his passing, I was eager to deconstruct. In light of his passing, I’ve also written a tribute or two. But you can miss me with the wave of This Is It! tracks and footage. I listened to the track when it premiered over the weekend and I can’t muster anything outside of or beyond ambivalence. Over the past couple of years, before his passing, I spent lots of time rediscovering his music and advocating for his artistry. To feed into this “renewed interest” with This Is It! as the conduit would seem a tad disingenuous. Namaste.