Archive for the ‘all about the music’ Category

all about the music // October 27th, 2009 // 2 Comments

Chris Brown all but resurrects Jesus in new video.

Imagine being Chris Brown. You have to do quite a bit to endear yourself to the masses all over again, which means lots and lots of special effects. Special effects are good at distracting people, as is Lil’ Wayne. So, it’s fitting that Chris Brown’s new song and video “Transform Ya” employs a motif from one of the loudest, most obnoxious, pandering film franchises in recent memory, movies so visually stunning that you suddenly forget that you have been hoodwinked because of all the pretty colors and sparklies. Such is the trajectory of Chris Brown’s career.

 

all about the music // October 17th, 2009 // 6 Comments

World will implode when new Rihanna album is released.

You will die.You want Armageddon? I’ve got your Armageddon right here, Hortense. If there’s One. Thing. all of the world awaits at this very moment, it is a new Rihanna album. Don’t believe me? There is proof all over the World Wide Web. Rihanna enjoys leaving the house looking fierce in crazy shit, and every paparazzi in the vicinity tramples over sweet puppies and old ladies to get a shot. These things do not happen with just anyone. They do not.

 

In three days, the first of many disasters will have the world in it’s feral grip according to the Countdown to Red Death clock on Rihanna’s shocking website. Then, on November 23, all manner of screeching hell will break loose. There will be stigmata. We will crack each other’s skulls open in search of treasure. And all of my white gay friends will vomit on one another in ecstacy. These things were all foretold in the Bible and Women’s Wear Daily. You will die.

 

all about the music // October 12th, 2009 // 2 Comments

Mary J’s “Stronger” increasingly weaker.

Or is it “more weak”?

 

As a fan, it can be difficult to admit when your favorite artist is dropping the ball. But, I love myself more than I love Mary J. Blige so I’ll come right out and say it: These new Mary joints are just ok. Not wack like they are just bad songs for any artist, but when we look at the many ways in which Mary has grown over the years, these tracks feel regressive or, at the most, basic. Let’s break them down one-by-one.

 

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all about the music // October 11th, 2009 // 3 Comments

Design of two decades.

After 20-plus years you don’t ask questions. There are people that will ask me “Why do you like Janet Jackson?” and my only response is, “It’s been over 20 years. What’s the point?” Janet Jackson has consistently, for many many years, made songs that I love, despite my decreasing tolerance for popular artists. But I’ll be the first to admit that the second half of her career isn’t as resplendent as the first. The tracklisting for her forthcoming Number Ones 2-CD collection presents, for the most part, the Janet we all loved at some point or another. Where the first disc details a steady rise, the second starts off with the peak and ends with the decline. Of note: I had no earthly idea “All Nite (Don’t Stop)” charted so high. Even a fan can learn something new everyday.

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all about the music // October 11th, 2009 // 3 Comments

The future is so old it’s new again!

xtina-gettinbetter

My dear Christina Aguilera, who famously declared that auto-tune was for pussies via this heroic t-shirt, is going for a “futuristic” concept for her next album. As someone that has explored the past to varying degrees (and critical results) for her previous effort, the “future” seems like the only place to go. But Christina, in spite of her Pop pedigree, is often cited as being a more “serious” artist, with a strict understanding of music (I’ve said the same) and a willingness to go against the grain. And so it must be noted that currently the future isn’t so much a concept as it’s a cliché.

 

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