novaslim.com

I had to post this before it became grossly irrelevant.
There were some great songs released in 2005, as detailed here, but my longtime readers know that I’m at my best when I’m bitching and whining about shit. So, without further ado, here’s my list of BULLSHIT-ASS MARK-ASS SONGS released last year.
“Soul Survivor” by Young Cheesy and Acorn: I kinda like Jeezy and not just because he has the Jigga seal of approval, but any song featuring Akon is stab-worthy. I am still trying to understand the draw when it comes to this fellow. Is it because Nate Dogg is done? Or are singers that CAN’T SING just a prerequisite when it comes to choruses? I’m confused about this one. Please, someone, break it down for me.
“Laffy Taffy” by D4L: This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I mean, I like fun, silly songs about as much as the next person, but this joint is just OFF-KEY. I get into the southern shit quite heavily these days, so this ain’t no shade to the south. It just sounds really really bad. Catchy my ass!! This shit is pure laziness!! The only reason I qualify as a hater in this case is because the shit was successful. Fuck you for disagreeing with me.
“I’m Sprung” by T-Pain: As you can see, I hate songs by ugly people. Where the fuck does Acorn get off having a protege?? Record industry people, this is why we don’t buy rekkids no mo’. Assholes.
“My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas: Monkey Business indeed!!! I remember the days of old when BEP was actually a hip-hop group. I yearn for those days. While not as bad as the previous joints on this list, it’s still stab-worthy. The BEP should be released out into the wild and used for target practice for releasing this dookie. This song makes me violent.
“Trapped in the Closet (pts. 1-infinity)” by R. Overkilly: Just when I settle into some mild acceptance of this nigga (and I don’t use the term loosely; he is what he is), he goes and does some dumb shit like this and all I can do is fly into a BLIND MOTHERFUCKING RAGE. Who’s advising him? This entire production is an insult to R&B and music in general. It was ridiculous from it’s inception and only solidified his place as R&B’s reigning lunatic. I just want him to go away. Please… Just disappear. Aside from being downright annoying and misguided, he is by far one of the laziest producers in the game. This was just another excuse for him to use the same beat over and over again. I wish ill on R. Kelly.
HATED IT!!!