DISCLAIMER: This is a public service announcement brought to you by Novito. Novito does not give a fuck what you think. If you don’t like it, you can kiss his fucking ass. Little did you know, upon entering this website, you have just given him a hummer. Novito is fed up with your shit, and he’s going to puke on you.
So I went to the party last night with NewBeau, two actually. The first one was uneventful, as in, I didn’t get shitfaced drunk and almost thrown out like at the second party. The first thing that needs to be understood is that, when I go out, I am all me. My sense of humor is wicked, and I have a smart-ass and sometimes filthy mouth. Usually this doesn’t get me into any conflict, because it’s just comedy, right?
I’m not Mr. N’Sync, I’m not what your friends think
I’m not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
if you tempt me my tank is on empty…
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I’m liftin you 10 feet … in the air
I don’t care who is there and who saw me destroy you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I’ll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I’m tired of all you …
I don’t mean to be mean but that’s all I can be is just me
Here is one type of person I despise: Homosexuals that think just because of their age or who they know, that they can just call people out and treat them like children when they haven’t the slightest clue. One such bitch approached me in the kitchen and said I was being rude and needed to leave. I was confused, seeing as how I’d only spoken to him for like two minutes when I first entered and our exchange was a positive one. Now he just comes out of nowhere, interrupting my conversation, saying I’m rude? I honestly thought he was kidding so I made a joke out of it. I mean, people had been busting my chops all night and it was in good fun, so I thought he was doing the same thing.
“I heard you earlier, calling this party ghetto and disrespecting the house… You need to just leave.”
So now I knew he was serious. He was blowing it out of proportion, but he was serious. NewBeau was out on the floor having a good time, so rather than tell the embittered old queen–
“Before I give you another opportunity to try and get me together in front of mixed company, you and I are gonna go outside and be real grown about it”–
I apologized and politely explained to him that he had come in on the tail end of my conversation and totally miscontrued everything that was said. I told him I was full of shit, and nothing I say should be taken seriously, especially when I’m inebriated. So let’s just be big boys and squash it, ‘kay? And so it was squashed. We were thick as thieves after that.
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense it’s constant
And, “Oh, it’s his lyrical content -
- the song ‘Guilty Conscience’ has gotten such rotten responses”
And all of this controversy circles me
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me…
So I point one back at ‘em, but not the index or pinkie
or the ring or the thumb, it’s the one you put up
when you don’t give a fuck, when you won’t just put up
with the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too
It was all out of respect for NewBeau. I had to betray myself and not backhand the living shit out of the embittered old (and short) queen for dipping in my business and trying to call me out for it. I don’t own any appreciation for that nonsense. That entire episode wasn’t even about me. It was about that lil’ muhfugga on his Florence Nightengale trip trying to make an example out of someone like he was providing a public service to the fucking world. You see, there are plenty of people like him that don’t exist but to “straighten people out”, I’ve met several. Sanctimonious, self-righteous shits like him have no solid social or personal life. They need something to do. They like to collect heads.
If I ever see him in another venue where I can really speak my mind, I’ll tell him just that.
House parties are different from the club in that whatever dirt you do, people will immediately know about it. So what was I thinking when NewBeau seemed to have disappeared for an hour and I allowed myself to be sorta kinda wooed by someone else? This fella had followed me and NewBeau to the party from the first one and he even said he was good friends with NewBeau. He’s tall, broad, extremely masculine and has a deep ghetto drawl. Add to that the fact that he said I was sexy and that he had a big dick in the same breath and the deal was nearly sealed.
“So you came with NewBeau?” he asks.
“Yup.”
“Where is he?”
“I dunno.”
“Can I have a kiss?”
Sad part is, I don’t even know if I kissed him. What a bummer. When I finally located NewBeau, I was ready to go and I made that clear to him and everyone around him. “No, don’t kiss me, don’t touch me. Just take me home.”
“But–”
“Take me home.”
So everyone is pointing and laughing at NewBeau– “Oooh, you in trouble!”– because they know as well I do that he was Incognegro for ’bout an hour. I really don’t care what he was doing. He could’ve been fucking some other dude six ways from Sunday upstairs and it wouldn’t have made any difference. I was pissed because we all thought he’d left. NewBeau gave in and as we were leaving the house, I threw up all over the grass. I’m pissed at NewBeau still and he’s rubbing my back while I’m puking like he’s burping a baby and I’m slapping his hand away.
My cellphone is still in his car and I need to call him in order to get it back. Hopefully I can remember his number, since it’s stored in my cellphone. How fucked up is that?
And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won’t even play my jam
Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don’t know it’s just the way I am
–Eminem
So extactly what kind of “heads” does Florence Nightengale collect? Hmmmmm.
Lawd haph muhcey! ! !
I have no words as of yet other than – damn, what a hot mess of a night that was.
Hilarious.
.. just kidding.
I’m similar in that I’m liable to say *any and every* thing when I’ve been drinking and just not care. And, my sense of humor is completely sacrastic and rude (if you don’t know me).
Anyway, next time your in the situation, you should make a joke about ‘slapping the sh*t out of dude if he doesn’t stop trippin.’ Laugh really hard after you say it. Then, just stop laughing and look at him real crazy. That should make him go sit down somewhere and stop being so overly sensitive.
LMAO my volatile nOva. Why didn’t you just swat this lil dude away?
Tell NewBeau to kiss your shady grits.
MAD AT YOU FOR USING THAT SONG.
HMPH!
I get buck when I’m not in my right mind. As if I wern’t bad enough sober. Let’s see….I cussed out my ex and tole ALL HIS BUSINESS to a room full of strangers. I tried to beat up my friend’s boyfriend and broke my watch in the process. I hurled on my mom’s living room floor then slept in it. I’ve got waaaaay too many dronk stories.
Did this take place at the house of the ‘embittered old bitch’? Because if that’s the case and she found you talking about either her home or her party, she should have told you to take your negative ass karma and hit the road. It wouldn’t matter if you were drunk or not.
I have been in a similar situation when an acquaintance came to a party I threw in my home. He cut the fuck up, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to ruin it for everybody else. Looking back, though, I should have cussed his ass out and kick his ass out of my house. It’s one thing for someone to be negative asshole – you can’t control anyone, but it’s another thing for me to allow that up in my house.
*shakes head at the kids cuttin’ up*
Boo. You are too cute to be acting unpretty in front of strangers like that. You never know who knows whom. And we simply must work on recognizing our alcoholic limit, kay?
I’m the kind of muhfugga who has shut down MY ENTIRE PARTY because of what some fool had the nerve to let slip out of his mouth to me. So it’s best you didn’t act out at my function.
If I thought you would listen worth a damn, I’d arrange a lil informational for you when you get to da ATL. Us “elders” do have a clue or two about how things work. But the kids these days…you can’t tell them shit.