How did I get the above award?
I took some personality quizzes over at thespark.com to answer some of the burning questions I had about nOva. I wanted to see just how gay I am (or what they thought), how dateable I am, and how much of a bitch I am. The results are as follows…
According to the Gay Test:
You are 68% GAY! The typical gay-man is only 53% gay! How gay are your friends? (We’ve also computed the likelihood that one of your friends has had a Wet Dream about you. They’ll deny it, but we swear these percentages are accurate.)
nOva says: I’m almost certain I am a lot more gay than this.
According to the Datable Test:
Mild congratulations, you are 42% dateable! You are neither more not less dateable than your peers– welcome to the land of mediocrity, home of the masses! You have an undeniable animal magnetism, but you’re just as likely to attract small animals as you are to attract human beings. Nevertheless, the people you flirt with generally find you funny and cute, or “fute.” You have good hygiene, which is an imporant aspect of relationships involving two or more people. Avoid seafood and walks in the woods.
nOva says: This is kinda true. People either think I am too cute and therefore will not date me, or I attract idiots that think I will date them simply because they are aggressive (read: tenacious). Tsk tsk… I need to move!
According to the Bitch Test:
You are certifiably 46% bitch, which is higher than the worldwide average 38%.
nOva says: These questions were a little gender-biased. If they had some questions that apply to everyone, I would’ve scored higher. Refer to the July Archives to see how much of a bitch I can really be, okay?
Thanks to ~Sunray~ for this link.
And from gay.com comes my drinking Zodiac profile. Many thanks to big brova for this one.
CANCER
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker — and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can’t it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists — and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get “tired and emotional” (read: weepy when lubricated). But there’s nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do.
nOva says: When I drink, I become a stand-up comedian and I get a little flirty. Liquor makes me sexy and funny! What more could a guy want?
Trademark cocktails: Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine — any brown booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to grandpappy’s special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like comfortingly warm and sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you’d be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
nOva says: This ‘scope totally doesn’t fit me. I only drink light liquor which is most of time Vodka or Light Rum. I don’t do Gin, however. That’s when onery, indignant, violent Kenya Shaquita Jenkins from around the corner emerges. If I drink dark liquor I get terribly sick and stupid. I cannot even see straight.
Drinking buddies: Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Sean Hayes, Lil’ Kim, George Michael, Princess Diana, Prince William.
nOva says: I totally dig Pam. Bill Cosby is iffy because he has issues with gay TV. Sean Hayes, why not? Lil’ Kim is my dawg but she’s lucky if I don’t get drunk enough to tell her how bad she’s been sucking lately. I’d guard my genitals from George Michael and I might just break a bottle over Dubya’s head!
Check the tests out and ping me with the results! If you can’t ping, leave a comment saying you did it too! (I used the exclamation mark because that was somewhat of an order, youngin’.)
Rotfl!!!! Oh that was hilarious! Kenya Shaquita Jenkins?! Stop it. 46% bitch huh?? You might want to put a warning sign on your forehead. I am rolling laughing at you Nova or is it nOvA or is it nOVA. Well damn. I’ll be back you sexy funny thing you!
Welp, I’m 32% bitchy. Hmmmm. I don’t think I’m bitchy really, but hey. The funniest questions on that joint were:
How many people would come to your funeral?
How many people would be there just to make sure you were dead?
Do you have crunchy bangs?
Are you from Canada, you bitch?
Loved it. Thank you darling.
Well I went and submitted myself to bitchalyzation and it turns out I’m %52 BEEIIAATTCCHH!!! *doin a jig* Don’t ask me why I’m so happy..guess I’m proud of me..*lol*
I’m a nice person though…I swear it I am!
Yo Boog!!
Why you laugh at “Are you from Canada, you bitch?”
*gettin out the boxing gloves while yelling..YES I AM DAMMIT!!*
Let’s take it outside right now Boog…me and you.
*LOL*
Keep your sassy comments to yourself, nOvaPain! Why don’t these folks know you’re a flamming bitch? I demand a retest!
Haha you’re gayer than me
http://www.novaslim.com/sunray/archives/000085.html
I aint got shit else to do tonite so I decided to take one of those retarted personality tests…
Guess I’m just a nice guy after all
nOva decides to test his bitchiness, datability, and gayness over at Thespark.com – I decided to join the fun…
OK, I am STILL laughing at this. I took my “tests” this am and have posted my results over at The Prime one.
Well, you’ve been nothin’ but nice to me and you’ve been sober the entire time – I think. Remind me to make you one of my Special Concoctions when we meet.
stay away from J.’s conCOCKtions!!!!!!!!
I’ll hover as close to J.’s conCOCKtions as I so desire!!!
i love to take quizzes
after reading n0va’s journal, i saw where he had taken some quizzes, well you know what they say “monkey see,
If I knew you I would kiss you. But since I don’t I will teleport you one….Muaaa! You remind me a good friend of mine. You/he personify authenticity…